Rule 3 - Confidence and common sense will take you farther than education and position.

In the introduction to Bud’s Rules, I mentioned the fact that my father had a fourth grade education. It seems that during 1933, when Bud was about ten years old, there was a terrible epidemic of scarlet fever throughout the country. Since my father had contracted the disease as a baby, he was immune. Therefore, he took some time off from his class work to help neighbors tend to livestock and various chores in the community when entire families were down sick and unable to take care of their farms. He never went back to school.

After I wrote about that, someone mentioned to me that they never knew he had quit school so early. The fact was, Dad could barely read and write; I used to pick out anniversary cards and write things for him because it was a challenge for him. But if you knew my father, you would have never guessed. What Bud lacked in academics, he made up for in what we call “common sense.”

Dad always seemed to apply the life skills he had learned to everyday living, and it gave him the confidence to take on goals he might not have otherwise tackled. During the 1950’s, some of the best employers in our area were companies like DuPont and Ford’s glass manufacturing division. Most folks would have been fortunate to have landed a job at either; Bud worked at both.

As he started out for his first shift of work at DuPont, my grandfather was not optimistic. “You won’t make it one night, son,” he said, shaking his head. He just didn’t think the slow, methodical sensibilities of a farm boy work ethic would translate to a fast paced industrial setting. But Bud did make it. Working several years at DuPont, when a product line played out and he was laid off, he landed a job to Ford and put in 26 years of service.

He worked in a variety of jobs and was a union captain with the local UAW. On top of that, he farmed a dairy and beef cattle operation with the help of my mother and his sons. He backed down from few challenges and seemed to be intimidated by no one. Not bad for a country boy with an elementary education.

The lessons I learned from his applied common sense and simple confidence in his own ability have helped me in my own life. Having worked in the blue collar field for nearly 20 years, I felt daunted by the situation I found myself in nine years ago, when a crippling motorcycle accident prevented me from returning to a workplace where I had made my living for quite a few years. Faced with the prospect of retirement on disability before I was 40, I applied a little of Dad’s common sense and confidence to my own situation, and returned to school, completing a degree in just over three years and becoming a Certified Public Accountant.

While that accomplishment may seem like an academic achievement, let me say that academics alone will not get you there. During the current economic downturn, I’ve seen many bright, educated young people that lacked the confidence to go out and sell themselves in a tough job market. Likewise, I have friends in their 40’s and 50’s that refuse to use a little common sense and adapt to the current situation. They also lack the confidence to reach out and try something new.

I believe that life still takes confidence and common sense. Yes, we live in a world that is more technologically complex and requires a higher level of base education in the workplace. I know that someone with an elementary school education would never get an interview for most jobs today. But once your foot is in the door, it’s going to take some practical application of knowledge and solid people skills to help you survive.

Many times, I have heard my father say that some individuals had “book smarts”, but lacked common sense. I’ve seen that myself; college graduates that maintained a 4.0 GPA, but were virtually unemployable. It has been said that knowledge is power; but knowledge without wisdom is like a fully charged battery with nothing connected. That’s what common sense is; wisdom, pure and simple. It is the ability to apply what you’ve learned to the problems that face us in the real world.

It is this common sense that gives us confidence. It’s one thing to the principles behind how something works. But what you really need is to be able to walk up to a situation, pick up the tools, and say, “I can make it work.” That’s common sense and confidence; and it will take you down the road.     

Rule 2 – Protect your name and reputation; they are the most valuable assets you have.

“Wilson” is the seventh most common name in the United States. There have been “Wilsons” that were Presidents and “Wilsons” that were prisoners. (There are many more of the latter than the former.)  That said, my father placed a great value on his family name and his personal reputation. He was extremely cautious about his name and reputation, with a strong tendency to defend family honor at every opportunity.

Dad repeatedly warned my brothers and I while growing up about tarnishing the family name, both for him and for us. He knew how valuable that was. Bud realized that his reputation opened doors for him and gave him opportunity. His name was trusted; and he was aware and watchful of that fact. He could be a little hard on us at times, but he had high expectations for us. Even now, I ask myself if I’m carrying on the family name in the way he would have been proud of.

Bud had the kind of name that meant he could walk into the office of any bank president in town and get a loan with a handshake, details to be worked out later. He had the kind of reputation that made local politicians seek him out for endorsement in the community. I have seen influential men come to him privately for trusted and confidential counsel. He was once approached about running for political office, but declined. A couple of years ago, I was talking to one of the local funeral directors about Dad, and he misted up, telling me how much he missed my father. When you bring a tear to the undertaker’s eye, you know you’ve made an impact. You don’t get that kind of name and reputation without being proud of it and protecting it.

Dad once lifted the chin of my son, who was about five and very bashful at the time, and told him in a very serious tone, “Raise your head up, Chief; you’re a Wilson. You don’t have anything to hold your head down for.” That attitude was forged subconsciously in our family, and incidentally, my boy never forgot it, either. Likewise, that attitude got handed down to my daughter as well. She developed a personality within our community that transcended the family name, even while she was only in high school. Many people in town knew her simply as “Lindsey Jo”; and she worked hard to keep a reputation of virtue and integrity. Now, she is just as conscientious for her husband and the family name they are forging and I am proud of them both.

If this attitude seems like sinful pride, please understand that it isn’t. It is scriptural, and understanding the value of a name and reputation is pervasive throughout the Bible. God’s people have always understood the power and value in a name and a reputation. God repeatedly warned Israel about their actions “in His name”, recognized as “His people”. Back then, your name and reputation defined who you were, realistically and prophetically. They still do; people just don’t realize it.

Solomon says in Proverbs that “a good name is rather to be chosen than great riches”, and looking around, it’s easy to see why. Some of the most fabulously famous celebrities of our time have names and reputations so marked with scandal and debauchery, that most of us would have nothing to do with them.

For example, Bernie Madoff once had a name and reputation as being one of the most trusted investors in the world, until he “Madoff” with billions of other people’s money. Now, most folks wouldn’t buy a stick of gum from him. If he were given early release today, he could probably never get a job. Who would trust him? His actions ruined his name and his life; not only his, but his entire family. His own son committed suicide rather than live with the shame of his father’s actions.

Conversely, I can say I’ve always been proud to be my father’s son. Even though Dad’s been gone for over nine years now, I still get identified with him. Since I bear some resemblance to him, it’s not unusual for someone that doesn’t even know me to say, “I know you’re a Wilson.” As recently as this week, someone called me “Bud”.  That’s fine by me. Even though I’ve lived long enough to make my own name in this world, I’m glad to be associated with his. He worked hard to protect it; I’m honored to preserve it. Proverbs also says, “A righteous man leaves an inheritance for his children’s children.” That’s not just money; that’s a reputation worth more than gold.

Rule 1 - Appearance and attitude matter; to others, as well as yourself.

My dad never worked in an office setting or held a political office. He was never on television that I’m aware of, or made any kind of official public appearances. But one thing I remember about Bud Wilson was that special attention to personal appearance was ingrained in who he was. As a child, I remember every Saturday night; he would spread a newspaper out on the floor, get out the shoe shine kit and shine his boots. (When we were children, he did this for us as well.) He would polish dress and work footwear alike, taking time to buff them to a brilliant shine.

Likewise, he made sure his pencil thin mustache, sideburns and hair were trimmed and groomed perfectly. From the time he rose and dressed until he went to bed, he never had a hair out of place. Even when he wore a cap, he was careful to put it on in such a way that it never messed his hair up. Some wear a cap to conceal a bad hair day- Dad never had a bad hair day. He always made sure of it.

While Dad wasn’t typically a ‘jacket and tie’ kind of guy, unless it was Sunday morning, he always made sure his clothes were neat and clean. Even when going to work at the factory on the ‘midnight shift’, he wore ‘dress jeans’ or slacks and a nice shirt, changing into work clothes at work, and back into what he would have called his ‘street clothes’ at the end of his shift. He never left the house without a clean shave. He was fastidious about his appearance and personal care.

Why was this important? Appearances matter. In the society we live in today, full of baggy pants and caps with the bill turned sideways, we don’t give appearance much thought. But it still matters. When you show up for a date, or a job, or just show up, personal care shows that YOU care. People will treat you different. Even if they don’t think they notice, they do. They always do.

Secondly, your appearance affects your attitude. As the old Staples Family song title says, you need to “Respect Yourself”. If you don’t, no one else will. If you dress like you don’t matter, you won’t feel as if you do. Treat yourself right. It will make a difference in the way others treat you and the way you treat others. I’ve seen it. Looking like a failure is like living in a self fulfilling prophecy.

If you are looking for a job, this goes double, especially in the difficult economy we face today. Take a hint from the Depression era folks like Bud. They lived through times tougher than this, with unemployment twice as high. They learned that appearance and attitude make a difference if you’re trying to land a job. Believe me when I say that a prospective employer won’t be impressed by your ear gauges or the trendy “tat” on your neck, but if you show up on time with a good haircut and a shirt that’s been introduced to a device called an iron, you are way ahead of the game.

About five years ago, I made a drastic career change that left me with the classic “over and under” problem; I was over aged and under experienced for the line of work I was entering. But even in a tough job market, I found that the right appearance and attitude would land me a job offer from nearly every interview I ever went on. I believe appearance and attitude were and are key.

Appearance affects your attitude by giving you a little thing called confidence, which is in fact, no little thing at all. As a boy, I watched my dad walk into any social interaction, whether business or casual, and he always exuded confidence. I know he still probably sometimes felt insecure, but he never let anyone see him sweat. Everywhere he went, he walked in like he owned the place. Confidence won’t replace competence, but it will take you a long way down the road.

That brings me to one final thought. If you are a child of God, you can walk into any situation like you own it, because by inheritance, you do. If you understand that, it will affect the way you dress, the way you act, and the attitude you have. You can try to slide by on that concept and take the easy way out, relying on the “greasy grace” of position by association, or you can take pride in yourself and who you are; become the man or woman that God expects you to be.  It’s up to you; you are the one that has to look at yourself in the mirror every morning. Do you like what you see?