I grew up in a family that was into public and non-public displays of affection. My standing joke has always been that if we weren’t Southern, we would have probably been Italian. When we meet and when we say goodbye, there is always a lot of kissing and hugging. Some might think this awkward or odd, given that I have two brothers, putting a lot of testosterone into the mix of the immediate family. But there is no doubt, where the public affection came from…it came from my dad.
Bud was the kind of guy that would hug and kiss anybody…and I mean just about anybody; even friends that were big, burly grown men weren’t immune. Over the years, I’ve heard many friends mention my dad’s kisses with a fond recollection. It was accepted; people didn’t take it for something it wasn’t, because friends understood it was just Bud’s sincere way of showing you he loved you. And Bud loved people; he loved them a lot. The Bible says, “Greet your brother with a holy kiss.” That was one scripture that Bud took to heart.
That tenderness was especially present in with his family. After I was a big grown man, with kids of my own, I could expect that every time I walked in the door at his house, Dad was going to give me a big wet kiss, right on the lips. That might embarrass some folks, but not me; I was proud to have a dad that let me know he loved me. He would tell me in actions, but he also told me in words. I can’t say that every word Bud and I had was tender and loving; in fact, we spent plenty of time arguing about stubborn, stupid opinions we both had about politics and religion, when most of the time, none of it really mattered. But I also remember his gentle smile, a good hug, a big kiss, and an “I love you, son” thousands of times. I will never forget that my father loved…loves me.
That’s probably one of the most valuable inheritances you can leave your children. I hear many adults struggle with low self esteem and personal disappointment, often because their parents could never say, “I love you”. That sort of emotionally stunted behavior is often a generational curse, passed down through the line of a family, because someone, somewhere decided that they were too shy, reserved, or scarred to share their love with another human being…even their own child.
If that’s where you are, I encourage you to break that curse. Because a curse is exactly what it is. It stunts people, not allowing them to reach their full potential because they may feel unworthy of love or praise. Here’s an important thing to consider as a parent, so important that I’m separating it to its own paragraph and putting it in capital letters, so you get the impact:
YOU ARE THE REPRESENTATIVE OF GOD IN YOUR CHILD’S LIFE.
I want you to get that. When we call God our Father, it is no accident that God set up the family structure with an earthly father. He knew that our kids would need someone with flesh to act as a representative of Him in the lives of our children everyday. That’s YOU, bucko. You are the provider, the protector, the pastor and the priest of your household. You are the one that shows God’s approval, discipline and love. You are His arms, voice and face in the world of your kids. I’ve seen adults that had a difficult time accepting God as their Father, because their earthly father was abusive, cold, indifferent or absent. Don’t let that be your kid.
You kiss your kids, tell them you love them. Build them up and bless them. They will live up to…or down to whatever value you place on them. Don’t let them wonder about it when you’re gone. Show them your love now, show them God’s love now. Don’t be afraid of a big sloppy kiss; I’ve got a few of them waiting on the other side. Pucker up, Dad…pucker up, Son. I’ll be there before you know it.
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