This is one of two of Bud’s rules that are actually a direct quote, and I include it in these writings, because if it was something Bud lived by and repeated more than once, I felt it was worth exploring. Also, I think the concept lends itself to several life lessons about what it means to be a man.
The most impressive display of this rule that I remember was when a friend of Dad’s came out to the farm one day to see a prize Tennessee walking horse that Dad was very fond of. She was a stunning bay mare, with a white blaze face; the product of two Grand Champions. Bud took very good care of her, trained her, and had absolutely no interest in parting with her. His friend, however, had other ideas. He begged Dad to sell her, to name his price, constantly goading him about what it would take for the man to load her up and take her home. Finally, Bud saw that the man wasn’t going to quit until he named a price, so he popped off with a figure that was roughly the value of a decent new car at the time, which he figured was about twice was the horse was worth. The man whipped out a checkbook and wrote Dad a check.
As my father walked into house, ashen faced, still holding the check, Mom asked him what had happened. He just looked at her with a lost, almost hurt look and said, “I just sold my horse.” He then related how the deal had went down and how that he regretted ever pricing the animal. But when we mentioned tearing up the check and going back on the deal, he shook his head. “A deal’s a deal,” he said, “and you stick with it, even if it takes the hide off.” He helped the man load his horse and watched sadly as she was hauled away. The big check in his wallet meant little to him, but he stuck to the deal.
This lesson taught me a few things about agreements. In the time in which we live, agreements of various types, from business arrangements to marriage, don’t seem to mean very much to folks. People are always looking for a loophole, and nothing seems to last. A handshake means nothing; a promise means less. But I think we could all learn about a few valuable areas of life with this rule. They include:
Honor- There is something about giving your word to do something. When you break that agreement, you’ve affected your reputation with others. That’s not a light thing to mess with. It is important for your peers to trust you. If you can’t be trusted, you won’t be dealt with. Also, it affects your honor in someone else’s eyes: your own. What kind of man do you want to shave every morning? Do you want to be a man of compromise, or a man of resolve? Finally, how do you want your family to see you? Do you want your companion and your children to see you go back on your word, or do you want to leave a lasting impact with your sense of personal honor?
Prudence- This is a good, old fashioned word, but it means to use caution, or to have forethought. If you live your life with the understanding that you will abide by every agreement you make, one side effect is that you will be very cautious about the commitments you enter into. One bad deal will teach you a lesson. I can guarantee you that my Dad learned from his experience, and never again let someone goad him into pricing a possession that he didn’t want to sell. It’s important to carefully consider an agreement, before you find yourself in the middle of it.
A old man from the community where I grew up once told me that before he got married, he went down to the courthouse and got the marriage license, and everyday for a week, he would go for a walk down by the creek, sit down on a stump and study the document, asking himself if he could hold up to his end of the deal. Finally, when he was satisfied that he could stand by that commitment, they got married, and were together for life. That kind of prudence would make an incredible impact on the lives of many today.
Perseverance- Commitment like this takes what I call “stick-ability”…the mean to stick with an agreement or a person, when the going gets tough. Sometimes, almost always, if you make a deal of any significance, there is a period of buyer’s remorse. We’ve all experienced it; that time when you wish you hadn’t done the deal. But in time, if we persevere, we find that we can live with the outcome. We may always wonder, “what if” from time to time, but if you go there, don’t live there. It’s a pointless exercise that will only wear you down. If you’ve made a commitment, stick to it. It may cost us some “hide”, skinning our knees in the process of abiding with a deal; but skin grows back. Don’t look back, don’t try to say, “I could have” or “I should have”. Stick with the deal- if you don’t profit from it, you will learn from it.
Commitment like this is rare, and to some, it may seem out of style. But it’s still the best practice; and if it makes us an individual of honor, prudence and perseverance, it’s worth every inch of “hide” we pay for it.
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